The Purpose of Marriage: Repairing and Extending Shalom

I spoke recently at the wedding of a friend’s son. I opened by comparing the couple’s decision to have me speak to Hitler’s decision to invade Russia. Not the opening for your traditional wedding talk. Then last week I spoke at the wedding of our youngest daughter and avoided mentioning Hitler at all. Good move.

The talks were quite different, but in both of them I suggested that the purpose of a Christian marriage was to repair and extend shalom in the world. In my daughter’s talk, I explored that contention as follows:

“Romans 8:28 assures us that ‘all things work together for good to those who love God, and are called according to His purpose.’ Sometimes that’s hard to believe, but your lives to this point offer evidence of its truth. The key words here are also key words for a marriage: “work together” speaks to the mutual support you must give to each other, “love God” speaks to the foundation for your lives and marriage, and “good” identifies the goal toward which you are called to work.

“‘Good’ is not just an ethical or moral term in this context. It speaks to a word that embodies God’s central intention for every part of his creation and for your lives. That word – running throughout the Bible – is shalom.

“Shalom is a profound biblical concept that suggests how things ought to be. It has many varied but related meaning in Scripture, and is translated variously into English as wholeness, health, safety, prosperity, justice, and righteousness—all things that are part of any profound understanding of the concept of peace.

“If there is one thing I wish for you and for your marriage it is shalom.

“Unfortunately, shalom is always falling apart in the world, as we clearly see – around us and in our own lives. But the good news is that shalom is also always being repaired and extended. Thatis central to why you are getting married. That is your job in marriage—to increase shalom in each others lives, and to do the same for your children, and for your two extended families, for your friends, for your church, for the world.

“Because you have chosen marriage, you have increased your ability to be channels of God’s shalom in the world. It’s what every person is made to do. So my definition of a Christian marriage is as follows: a calling of a man and woman together, bringing with them all the stories that have shaped them to this point, for the purpose of repairing and extending shalom in the world.”

Actually, repairing and extending shalom is every believer’s primary job. But marriage provides a context in which the possibilities for doing so are multiplied, as is the power to accomplish this end.